Preserving Friendship


If disharmony or strife occurs in the relationship between human beings, then an effort must be made to reassure the ties of brotherhood with friendship. Rasulullah s.a.w. said: "The faith of a person is not perfect if the fight is more than three days and three nights". Even the Messenger of Allah specifically emphasized: "The faith of a husband and the faith of a wife is not perfect if they fight until the night is over."
How to make brotherhood and intimacy more stable and sustainable, then Rasulullah s.a.w. provide guidance in at least two descriptions of brotherhood in Islam.

First, brotherhood in Islam must be one body. If one part of the body is in pain, then the other must also feel the pain. In essence, brotherhood must be colored by a spirit of solidarity; the bitterness of life that is felt by others is also felt by his brother.

Second, brotherhood in Islam must be like a building. The Prophet's words: Between one element of the building with other elements need and protect each other. The essence includes the attitude of ta'awun; mutual help. Tarahum; love each other; Tadhamun; mutual responsibility. As the Messenger of Allah said: "Help others Allah will help you, lighten the burden of others Allah will lighten your burden, love others Allah loves you, forgive others Allah will forgive you".

To preserve this attitude, several clues can be found in the Qur'an, among others in Surah Al-Hujarat verses 6-12, namely:
O believers! If a wicked person comes to you with news, make sure it is true, so you don't harm people because they don't know, and then you will regret what you have done. And know that among you is the Messenger of Allah; if in many ways he had to follow you, surely you would be in trouble. But Allah makes you love faith, and makes it beautiful in your heart; and it makes you hate unbelief, wickedness and disobedience. They are the ones who follow the right path; A gift and favor from Allah; and Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. And if there are two groups of believers who quarrel, reconcile them; but if one of the two acts unjustly towards the other, then fight against the group that acts unjustly, until they return to Allah's command; when they have returned, reconcile them with justice, and be just, and be just; Allah loves those who act justly. The true believers are brothers; So reconcile your two brothers (who are at odds), and fear Allah so that you may receive mercy. O believers! Let no group make fun of another group; it may be that one (who is ridiculed) is better than the other (those who ridicule): Nor should any woman laugh at another woman: It may be that one (who is ridiculed) is better than the other (who is ridiculed): do not criticize each other and give a mockery name. How bad is that bad name after you believe. Whoever does not repent, that person is the wrongdoer. O believers! Avoid prejudice as much as possible; because some prejudice is a sin. And do not spy on each other, do not gossip about each other. Is there anyone among you who likes to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you're disgusted. Fear Allah. Allah always accepts repentance, and is most merciful. (Al-Hujarat: 6-12).

 The seven recipes for the verses of the Qur'an in the letter Al-Hujarat are:

First, cultivate tabayun. Tabayun is checking the truth of a news that reaches the ears, especially hearing bad news about friends, relatives and so on. The attitude of a Muslim is, don't believe before checking the truth of the news. The Qur'an says that you should not hate someone for being a victim of information. Don't curse someone for being misinformed. Rasulullah s.a.w. said: "It is enough for a person to be called a big boaster if he tells everything he hears before checking the truth of the news".
In the true teachings of Islam only the Qur'an. Interpretation can be wrong, even hadith there are also weak, as well as qaul ulama can be wrong.

Second, islah culture. Ishlah is straightening out what is not straight, reconciling what is not peaceful, reconciling what is not harmonious, including correcting wrong information. In Islamic society, an ishlah institution is needed or at least there is one person who is trusted by all parties to do ishlah. For example, the existing international institution (OIC) is an ishlah institution, one of whose duties is to reconcile between conflicting Islamic countries. It's beautiful if you cultivate tabayun in life and get used to ishlah. Prophet Muhammad SAW. said: "Islam came in strangeness and one day Islam will appear as a strange and strange teaching, blessed are the strangers."
The strange people are the ones who do ishlah for everything that is corrupted by mankind. Therefore, ishlah is one of da'wah. Muhammad Abduh's preaching movement is called ishlah; I want to straighten out what is not right and fix what is not right.

Third, avoid taskhirriyah, belittling or making fun of other people.

Fourth, do not insult other people, insulting other people, among others, by changing other people's names with bad titles and can be painful because it interferes with intimacy and brotherhood. In a hadith it is stated that it includes insulting others when calling with the name of his father.

Fifth, keep away the attitude of su-udhon or bad thoughts. One of the spiritual diseases that causes physical illness and can cause stress is prejudice.

Sixth, do not like to find fault with others; find fault with yourself. Don't be preoccupied with inventorying other people's mistakes, but it's better if you take an inventory of your own mistakes.

Seventh, do not like to gossip about other people or backbiting. According to the Qur'an, people who like backbiting are sadistic people.

Backbiting can be done in daily life in a congregation, because gossiping is most enjoyable to do in a congregation. He wants to succeed not by achievement but by destroying other people, namely by gossiping about them. The Messenger of Allah warned that backbiting is the greatest sin is backbiting one's own husband or wife. It is even said in a hadith that it is forbidden to enter heaven for someone who likes to expose a husband or wife's disgrace.
So that the association remains sustainable

In addition to the seven recipes above, the Prophet Muhammad gave six recipes for daily social order in order to remain sustainable. Prove the closeness of brotherhood between fellow Muslims by means of;

First, if another person says greetings, then it must be answered with greetings. saying salam is sunnah, but answering slaam is obligatory; fardhu kifayah, except slam when prayer does not need to be answered. There is a stipulation that Islam cannot be spoken to non-Muslims.

Second, if someone else invites, fulfill the invitation. In particular religion advocates two family events involving other people; guardian of marriage and guardian of aqiqah. Marriage in Islam cannot be secret or secret, but must be published. In Islamic teachings if a baby is born, then on the seventh day it is circumcised for; shaving hair, announcing his name and aqiqah; namely slaughtering a goat for a baby girl and two goats for a baby boy. 

Third, if other people ask for advice, or advice, give advice as needed. Do not let people who are experiencing difficulties and spill their difficulties and then make it worse. Until the Prophet said if a friend of yours told him a bad dream, give a good interpretation so you don't give up and become pessimistic. Give others hope and a sense of optimism in living life. This is what parents need to do with their children.
 
Fourth, if someone else sneezes and says "alhamdulillah", then the answer is "yarhamukallah".

Fifth, if someone else is sick pray and visit. When visiting the sick, it is recommended not to burden the sick family, both materially and morally. It's even better to help relieve it.

Sixth, if someone else dies, then take him to his grave. If someone dies, even though that person is wrong, then say inna lillahi wa inna illaihi raji'un. But if someone dies a non-Muslim, don't say inna lillahi wa inna illaihi raji'un. If someone is carrying a corpse and passing it, it is recommended to stand up, even if the deceased is a non-Muslim. If you see a corpse, you are advised to cover your mouth and eyes, then your hands should be placed on your chest. Then they are washed, shrouded, and buried. If the body is going to be buried, do not bring anything except the shroud. Even the tomb should not be made luxurious, it may be walled and even then only the edges. Likewise with the coffin, if the corpse is in normal condition it is better not to use the coffin. If using a crate, then the crate must be filled with soil.
 
If the above instructions are implemented in daily life, God willing, the life between fellow Muslims will be transformed into a harmonious life.

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